Cutesy Spam E-mails
I need some Alcoholics Anonymous etiquette advice. You know sort of A.A. meets Emily Post.
There is a woman in the program who has my E-mail. She has my E-mail because she had asked me to sponsor her. As far as sponsoring her goes, she never called me or took any of my suggestions. She also wasn’t interested in working the steps or reading the Big Book again (she had read it once.) So essentially I never sponsored her. She stopped going to meeting at all a few months ago after she got her one year coin.
What she does do is send me cutesy spam E-mail. You know the kind I mean, a picture of an adorable penguin tap dancing on a chubby polar bear. I really don’t like cutesy spam E-mails. My mother-in-law sends E-mails like that I delete 90% of them sight unseen. If my husband sends them I delete 99% without opening it. I tolerated them from her because I thought that I was at least keeping the lines of communication open. This is how our communication goes.
She sends dancing polar bear E-mail
I reply, “Nice to hear from you, what is new with you?”
She replies with a “dumb husband” joke
In response I ask her how her new job is going.
She replies with an “oh fine” and a picture of an endangered egret.
Lawyers, Guns and Money
In a Big Book meeting I attended last night, a woman shared that she keeps guns all over her house. She shared that although she has young children, she does not keep the guns locked up in case she needs to act quickly to protect her family. She also shared that her children’s social worker was at her house “pissing her off” but, the social worker did not know that she was within feet of a loaded gun. She laughed and I tried to figure out what guns had to do with what we had just read.
hAAlf nAAked thursdAAY I am just showing off my tail feathers. (I spend way too much time on my hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy pictures.) Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans and best wishes to everyone eles.
Sam has a new best buddy Alex. I was really glad to when Sam came home and told me about Alex. Sam is a kid who functions best with an official best friend. Sam hasn’t had an official best friend since Jacob in preschool nearly a year and a half ago.
Before I knew it Sam was scheduling a play date with this kid. Saturday came and we went over to drop Sam off at Alex's. We met Alex and his parents. They did not seem like they were gun toting, pedophile, country western fans. So we figured Sam was relatively safe there and Chuck and I took off for the grocery store.
In the middle of all this, I had been planning Sam's birthday party. I had been obsessing over the details and trying to micromanaged the whole thing. Not feeling a whole lot of gratitude. Then Chuck comes home after having retrieved Sam from Alex's house. "Do you know what Alex’s mother told me," he asked. "She told me that Alex has leukemia and he just finished treatment six months ago," he said.
Mental Illness Sucks
Do you remember my A.A. friend Joan (not her real name) who said she prayed for her son to die? I gave her a ride home on Friday. Suddenly in the middle of she started ranting and raving. The ranting was mostly about our mutual friend Ted and how he had the right idea by dieing. How she wished that she was "that smart." Now Ted if you remember drank himself to death. When I got home, I called my husband and a couple of my A.A. friends. I knew what they were going to tell me but I did not want to be alone with the whole thing. Mental illness sucks.
¶ 11/21/2005 06:54:00 PM8 commentslinks to this post
Just so you understand as background, what I do for a living is raise money for nonprofit groups though Planned Giving and Major Gifts work. When the planes hit the twin towers on September 11 they also hit my career. I had just changed careers a couple years before myopic as I am I was ill prepared.
Alright, so the interviews, thank you for asking. I had two, one was at 9:00 a.m. and one was at 11:00 a.m. They both went fine. A lot of red flags came up in the 11:00 one. One of the red flags was that they were not going to have the second round of interviews until January. Or as she put it, "January if we are lucky." They are a pretentious environmental group anyway and the position had lots of other red flags.
Today I have a phone interview with a consulting group. If I understood him correctly the position is consulting with nonprofit groups rather than working for one. This interests me but, overnight travel could be an issue.
I did not get called to substitute teach this morning. Just as well, last week I pulled a couple of really easy assignments so, I am about due insane preachers' kids on crack. Law of averages you know.
Instead of substituting I went to the Monday Morning Big Book meeting. Talk about insane preachers' kids on crack. The chair had stomach flu so they asked me to chair. "When asked to serve, serve," the old timers always told me, so I chaired.
When I got home from the morning meeting there were two messages (Vonage Rocks) waiting for me. I naturally assumed they were bill collectors and I almost did not listen to them. "Life on life's terms," I heard the committee in my head say. So I listen to the messages. The messages were two H.R. people wanting to interview me for jobs. Two actual jobs that are in driving distance and in my field. I just don't get God.
¶ 11/14/2005 07:18:00 PM7 commentslinks to this post
Shame and Career
I am feeling a lot of shame and weariness over my job situation in the past few days. I pray and pray and pray and it just feels like God is not listening. I used to pray for a job, now I pray to be useful to God today.
All those years of education, all those years of jockeying myself into positon and nothing. The best job I have found in CT so far is substitute teaching. I am not a teacher. I was never trained as a teacher. I hate it. I hate larger groups of children. Sometimes I even hate myself.
A friend from The Program suggested that I try food service. Food service is what I did in college. Now I have a college degree and three years of graduate school and the best I can do is food service. Meanwhile, it seems like all these people around me are getting good jobs. What am I doing wrong?
¶ 11/09/2005 07:15:00 AM16 commentslinks to this post
Cub Scouting is WeirdCub Scouting is weird. To me, the whole saluting, handshaking and motto saying thing is weird. Adults in Scout uniforms are weird. Flag ceremonies are weird. Merit badges are weird. Here is the catch; the weirder I think the whole thing is the more my son Sam seems to enjoy it. I just don't get it.
¶ 11/07/2005 09:03:00 AM12 commentslinks to this post
Have you ever been in a car accident? You know how your whole body tenses up. That is how I feel. My shoulders feel like they are in a vise. I think I have been this way since I heard about the death of my friend Ted.
My German Lutheran upbringing tells me that I should not feel this way. My upbringing tells me I should not grieve for Ted. You only are supposed to grieve for relatives up to and sometimes including first cousins. We were not related. We were not even that close, in fact I do not think that I really knew him at all. I feel sad anyway.
Some of my grief is selfish. Ted and I had a lot of similar interests. He was a writer and we read each others stuff. I wanted him to go on reading my stuff. I wanted us to go on having conversations about writing, history and the absurdity of American culture. I want to see him walk into the 10:00 meeting this morning. That all died when Ted died last weekend.
¶ 11/02/2005 06:52:00 AM8 commentslinks to this post
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
A fun Halloween
A fun kid to share Halloween with
Awesome Trick or Treat weather
I got called into work two days in a row and got to Blog both days