Happy Helicopters In honor of the Easter Bunny's arrival in the next 36 hours or so...here is some helicopter action for the kids.
¶ 4/14/2006 08:44:00 AM6 comments
Thursday, April 13, 2006
My oldest cousin died a few years ago leaving behind two grown children. Her oldest child "Stevie" is nearly 50 years old, has never held and job and still lives at home.
As you may have guessed, Stevie is alcoholic and may be shizophrenic or manic depressive as well. Who knows, his diagnosis a crapshoot. My cousin and her husband always refused any outside help for him. They had a "what happens in this house, stays in this house" mentality.
Whenever I talk to my Mom now she frequently tells me stories about Stevie. The stories are always about some whacked out thing Stevie did or said. At the end of her stories she says in an ominous tones, "you know he's mental." I always have to fight the urge to laugh really hard. A few times she has actually called him a mental defective, not an outright mental defective but a mental defective just the same. I think, "yes Mom, I know and so am I."
¶ 4/13/2006 04:07:00 AM13 comments
Yesterday's step meeting
The quiet of early morning (I pilfered this one from Scott)
Feeling the power of prayer time
Mary Jo saying yes to going to Sam's play on Friday night
Sam's friend Alex (and his mother and sister) coming to Sam's play on Friday night
The cash in my money jar
Finding Sam's lost shoe
Uno game with Sam last night
That my allergies are still under control this morning
Sobriety DateToday is the anniversary of the last day that I woke up in detox wearing paper slippers. The report attached to the end of my bed stated that the day before had "ran away" from a 3/4 way house.
It really was not my intention to run away. That morning some of my colleges and I had gone off into the nearby woods to get loaded. We drank NyQuil purchased at a 7-Eleven a quarter mile away. Today, I am not sure if NyQuil was the only alcohol we could get or if we thought that we would not get caught if we drank cold medicine. Either way we did get caught and I got shipped off to detox and then off to yet another halfway house.
In that detox I really took the first step for the first time. In that fog, I had a moment of clarity. I realized that I needed to take the First Step "just for today." Whenever I let myself get beyond today my ego and my innate love of argument would kick in and I could talk myself into another drunk so fast it makes my head spin. But, I just for today, I could admit that I was powerless.
Today, I realize two things: first, that my moment of clarity had to come from God and second, I still need to work my steps one day at at time. Arrrrrrrgggggggghh, I have become one of those slogan people I always hated.
My mother-in-law sent me the "game" below as an E-mail. It is very judgemental but, I must admit it made me laugh at least at myself.
DO YOU GO TO SLEEP IN AA MEETINGS? THEN PLAY Do you keep falling asleep in meetings? What about those long and boring using stories? Get tired of the same old Slogan.. Babble, or members who continue to deal with the same problems, same defects, and same painful relationships...FOR YEARS?
Here's a way to change all that..
Before your next meeting, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find> that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch squares.
Write one of the following word/phrases in each square:
I Have Issues With ______.
I Thought I Could Just Read Them Off The Wall, And That Was Enough.
It was just a small slip
I'm Stuck On Step ____.
I don't Really Believe In The Steps.
Couldn't Find A Meeting
My Sponsor Has Been Out Of Town
I Don't Need A Sponsor
Oh, The Pain!
But, You Don't Understand
I am just Misunderstood
I'll Never Do ______.
Rational Recovery Anything
I am serching for the answers
I'm Going To Do It Tomorrow.
I've Been Thinking About Doing It Tomorrow
But It Was Only Non-Alcoholic Beer
I Know What It Is I Need To Do But
ALL YOUR FAVORITES SHOULD BE ADDED HERE__________________.
Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of the words or phrases mentioned in the meeting. When you have checked off five consecutive boxes either horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout BULLSHIT!"
I just went in to check on Sam and his fever seems to have broken. Hopefully I am not just imagining it like last time. It should be the real deal because, he has not had Tylenol in 7 hours.
The bad news in that yesterday morning, about this time, he started to have trouble breathing. His doctor called in a prescription as soon as pharmacy opened. At some point yesterday he also lost his voice. This is hard on him but not as scary.
Everyone is telling Chuck and I that we will probably come down with the 3-5 days of fever illness too. Sam has dress rehersal for the Easter play on Tuesday night. He already missed one practice because of illness. If he misses again, he might not be able to be in the play this year. I am praying that Sam and at least one of us parents will be well enough to go on Tuesday. I guess this is where I surrender Sam's life along with my own. I hate that part.
¶ 4/03/2006 01:29:00 AM6 comments
Sunday, April 02, 2006
I was wrong about Sam's fever breaking. It was just a temporary effect of the Motrin. He has now had a fever for something like 62 hours. His doctor said that this strain of the flu the fever can run up to 5 days. She told us not to bring him in unless his fever goes beyond that or he starts to have convulsions. I know she is right and the virus just has to run its course but, I still wanted to bring him in.
The doctor also said that this flu tends to run to the entire family before all is said and done. So right now I am over analyzing ever sensation in my body. Just another wonderful opportunity to surrender.
¶ 4/02/2006 04:56:00 AM7 comments
Outright Mental Defective is an ongoing conversation about living sober one day at a time.