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Outright Mental Defective
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Right now, I am a codependent mess.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
  Eating Ourselves to Death
I have a very good friend who is dying as a direct result of his addiction to food. He landed in the emergency room over the weekend, unable to breath. Yesterday the cardiologist told him that if he did not change his life style (diet, exercise and use of a CPAP machine) he could very well die in the next few years. He told me this dire prediction and then followed with, "but doctors always tell you your going to die." He said, trying to laugh the whole thing off.

Am I crazy? Do doctors always tell people they are going to die in the next few years if they do not do this or that? My doctor did tell me if I did not lower my cholesterol through diet (lets hear it for fish oil and oatmeal) she would have to put me on Lipator. I assumed that somewhere down the line I would be risking death but, she never said anything about a few years.

I hate watching people die from their addictions. I hate being powerless to stop it. I especially hate watching people I love die from their addictions. In my eighteen years in the rooms I have done far, far too much of it.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Our whole family was sick over the weekend. I hate when that happens. Some kind of virus we think. Anyhow today we all seem a whole lot better.

Sunday, July 20, 2008
  My Will
My will doesn't always work so well.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Right now, I don't want to do God's will, I want to do my will.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
  Help Me!
I am struggling with one of my sponsees. I love her dearly and I am as close to her as anyone I have ever sponsored. She just celebrated two years sober and I have sponsored her twenty months of those two years. In spite of all these good things, I am not sure I can go on sponsoring her.

Why do I want to end the relationship? At two year sober she continues to have unprotected sex with men she barely knows. She lines up men the way I used to line up glasses of wine. All the while she plays the happily married suburban wife to her highly successful but clueless husband. I have suggested therapy, Sex Addicts Anonymous and several other things to no avail.

I was taught in this program that you never fire a sponsee. That if you fire a sponsee it is too much about you and not enough about them. As much as I love her I really do not want to be standing next to the tracks when the inevitable train wreck happens. What should I do?
  Mold Update
So far the damage has not been as extensive as we had feared. Some of it should even be a fairly easy fix. God, once again, has our backs. Funny how that works.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Good News - Our tenants finally left.

Bad News - They caused much more damage to the unit than we anticipated. There were leaks they never told us about so now we have mold everywhere. Even in closets which I find very weird. Their side of the basement is flooded from one of the the leaks. The stove is in pieces and they spray painted the bathroom tile black.

We have learned a lot about being landlords from this experience. But unfortunately it is not going to be a cheap leason.
Friday, July 04, 2008
  Gratitude List
Happy Fourth of July everyone! When I was a kid the Fourth of July was always my favorite holiday. I loved it because it took place during that enchanted period of midsummer. Midsummer was safely buffered from school and other "real life" actitives by June on one end and August on the other.

As an adult, midsummer no longer provides the sanctuary that it once did. Every once in a while when I smell the intoxicating blend of humdity, Coppertone and plastic pool toys I am transported back to that simpler time.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008
  Gratitude List
On May 23 we gave our downstairs tenants notice to move out on or before June 30.

We have had a string of problems with them. They have been late on the rent for months. In fact they still owe us $400 in rent from December and February. Both grandsons (its a grandmother and her two grandsons) have moved in their girlfriends who are not on the lease. (This is not to mention the half dozen or so other family members who live there on and off). In fact one grandson moved in his girlfriend and her(or their, I am not sure) two toddler children. The other grandson is "one of us," I think. As the result the police come by frequently, mostly for domestic disturbances.

We told them if they moved out on or before June 30 we will not evict or report you to the housing authority and Section 8. Guess what? They are still here. When my husband ask them yesterday when they were moving, they said that they were not going to move. When Chuck said we were going to have to evict them and they would lose their Section 8 status, the answer was, we do not care.

Outright Mental Defective is an ongoing conversation about living sober one day at a time. http://soberrant.blogspot.com/

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