Death of an A.A. Meeting
As much as I do not want to admit it, I think our Thursday women’s Big Book meeting may be dying. Attendance is way down. A couple of us started this meeting just last November and for a while we were getting six to ten women every week. The past couple of months however, we are lucky to get three.
A long time ago, an old timer told me that if I started a meeting I had to commit to it for a year. So, I committed to it for a year but now the year is almost up. Lately I been feeling like I am single handedly propping up a meeting that otherwise would have disbanded. I have to ask myself how much of this is about doing God’s will and how much of it is about my ego. You know the, “damn it I will make this meeting work” syndrome.
I should ask my sponsor about this but I think when we hit a year I am going to quietly back off. I will still attend on a regular basis but I am not going to be the one to always be there. I am sad about it but it should not be “Trudge’s meeting” meeting like it seems to be now.
¶ 9/19/2007 05:56:00 AM12 commentslinks to this post
Sorry for the delay in posting. The motherboard on my computer went down last Wednesday. Luckily, I have a friend in the program who rebuilds computers and gives them away for free. The computer he gave me is better than the one I had.
Thank you everyone for your kind comments on Friday’s post. I really appreciate each and every one of them.
I never liked my father (click here to read the original post). Now he is dead and I feel awful that I did not like him more. I should have liked him more. Maybe I could have liked him more if I had tried harder.
I do not like my father for two reasons. First, a lot of my dislike of my father stems from me being my mother’s confidant growing up. As her sounding board, I took on much of my mother’s anger toward my father so that she did not have to. Then she could gush about how wonderful he was and what a great marriage they had.
Second, my father never seemed to like me. My mother said that he liked me, that he loved me and that I was his princess but, he often acted like he could not stand me. When I would get angry at the way he treated me my mother would say that it was because of his low self esteem and I needed to be more understanding.
I guess that everyone else liked my father. According to her she has been inundated by calls and letters from people who liked him. People who had nothing but, fond memories of him. I wish one of them was me.
¶ 9/04/2007 03:21:00 AM23 commentslinks to this post
Outright Mental Defective is an ongoing conversation about living sober one day at a time.