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Outright Mental Defective
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
  Cutesy Spam E-mails
I need some Alcoholics Anonymous etiquette advice.  You know sort of A.A. meets Emily Post.  

There is a woman in the program who has my E-mail.  She has my E-mail because she had asked me to sponsor her.  As far as sponsoring her goes, she never called me or took any of my suggestions.  She also wasn’t interested in working the steps or reading the Big Book again (she had read it once.)  So essentially I never sponsored her. She stopped going to meeting at all a few months ago after she got her one year coin.  

What she does do is send me cutesy spam E-mail.  You know the kind I mean, a picture of an adorable penguin tap dancing on a chubby polar bear. I really don’t like cutesy spam E-mails.  My mother-in-law sends E-mails like that I delete 90% of them sight unseen.  If my husband sends them I delete 99% without opening it.  I tolerated them from her because I thought that I was at least keeping the lines of communication open.  This is how our communication goes.


It wouldn’t be so bad if it was only a few E-mails a week but, she sends me four to six of these spam E-mails every other day.  What should I do?  
 
Comments:
Oh Lordie...good luck. I have people who send those kind of e-mails to me too.
 
This a selfish program and I would delete her.
 
we Trude, if it were me... I would just accept it as is... if it bothers me, I would send her a real email... and say dear friend, I just want to know how you are, as I miss you... Or you can say... love the jokes dont have time to read em all.. would love to hear from you though so email me anytimer and let me know how you are... hope you like those suggestions... I love ya... have a kick ass day
 
Oh pardon my horrible spelling... : ) Have a kick ass day
 
TRUDGE... you acceptd a NEW JOB??? SPILL
 
No, you! Maybe you need a new job.
 
Perhaps you could mention that many of these types of emails carry viruses and worms and you'd rather not take a chance on that. Then you could include the fact that you would like to continue to have contact as long as it isn't the joke stuff.

Unfortunately, this program isn't for people who need it, only those that want it. Once you've done your part in trying to pass on your tools, experience, strength and hope that is really all you can do. And, someone else is out there waiting for your guidance that may actually put it to use.

I usually mention to folks that do this stuff that I am not really sponsoring them in the authentic sense and perhaps it'd be a good idea for her to find someone that she would actually use.

That's my 2 cents :)
 
I think that the confusion comes from your AA affiliation with this person: leave that part out, and the answer becomes simple.

I would send a brief note saying that while she's always welcome to drop a line and stay in touch, I'd appreciate her taking me off her list of people she forwards jokes and items of interest to.

I have made this request of other people, and they are usually happy to oblige: they were sending me things because they thought I'd like to be included, and when they found that it inconvenienced me, they stopped.

People are rarely trying to be impolite, but when they cross the line, it is the kindest thing to give them gentle encouragement in the direction of courtesy.
 
I will bow to the empress. I, too, get some of those and I can usually spot them and just delete without opening, but if I was getting several a day I would take action to stop it.
 
I used to send those out every day to dozens of people. I finally stopped. Now I put them on a blog.

Just tell her that you get too many emails every day to waste your time on unimportant stuff. If she has something to say or ask, fine. But the jokes and pictures are wasting your time.

Or take her on a chopper ride and THROW HER OUT OVER A LAKE. Yeah, that's the ticket.
 
Tell her that her emails are annoying. I am going to post on this whole etiquette issue as it's driving me nuts!!!
 
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