From reading your earlier post (the one you referenced), it seems that you tried to form a relationship, and she more or less ignored your efforts. Now, she's trying to put the responsibility on you.

There are people who just want to suck out all your energy, and she sounds like one of them. I don't know about you, but I can't afford to invest myself in someone like that because doing so will make me want to drink.
 

For me, I sometimes call people I don't want to, cause I care too much how they think of me. That is cool you can actually ignore people who do not give anything back to you spiritually or of any value to your program.

I have a few people I need to X off my "pay attention too" list. Some people really do get weird...

Any how, time to call a few sober people and work on staying sober today!

Best Regards,

Jonathan
 

She seems to be one of those empty type friends.Nothing much to exchange.
Hope you find a new new comer whom you feel better connected to..you know..like a Canadian maybe? lol
Hope you can work this one out.
Thanks for sharing ~
 

Love those Canadians!
 

"to spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy." If they don't want what I have, then they don't. I am not going to tailor what I have to be what they think they want.

I HATE those e-mails!
 

We are some overly sensitive creatures, eh? She'll move on and eventually find mutual connections.
 

Oh, my. I've had this situation. You're right on the money with this one.
 

Hey us Canadians are good people.

You know you don't have to like or socialize with anyone you don't want to in a meeting and people need to get over that.

So - I go to my home group and I talk to my friends there - and if we have coffee outside then we do, if not, then we don't.

We go to meeting to stay sober - not always to make cutesy friends. UGH!! I don't have the mental energy to solve the worlds problems, sometimes I have enough with my own.

And you know people in meetings are always talking about someone. And people and personalities may not mix well. so be aware. It better to be talked about, it's when they stop talking about you that you have to worry, because then you are dead, or they've found someone else to center on to ridicule and talk about.

Don't sweat the small stuff...

Jeremy in
Montreal
 

well its sounds like her stuff
dont take it on, just say like you said-
"I was not aware that I was avoiding or offended"

you are soo cool Trudge i get where you are coming from
 

I often need reminding that AA is not a primarily a social group. And to remember tradition 5. but being human, its hard sometimes to let go. I too have a friend who sends those kind of emails, I have tried conversation, but its all one sided. I still love the person though very much :-)
 

there's some good al anon there... jsut be honest and loving with her.... you're not obligated to do more than that...
 

No explaining needed here. I know exactly the place you are coming from. I have had this discussion with many people many times it seems. Sometimes I feel a tinge of guilt but I know it is not the healthy part of me.

Good for you I say ;)
 

Love the Canadians, as my husband's Father's side o' the fam are from Canada. Husband is the first-born American son.

Had a similar situation myself with a sponsee recently. Tried to meet with her in person and she kept cancelling so I was forced to send an email. I bascially gave it to her straight what I thought (similar to your situation) and she's been around for years. That situation has always been tough for me. Truth is what always works best, as long as it can be done with love.

I've had people to thank me months or years later, in addition I have had people to be honest with me and I really appreciate that. I like to refer to this as "having someone read your mail" I heard this at a meeting and it stuck :)

There are way too many people out there that want recovery and need your E, S, and H.
 

Seems like you've got something she wants - strong sobriety maybe? She should just come out and ASK for it. Like you said, if she needs you.
Peace............