Outright Mental Defective: 06/01/2005

"Sex Addicts Anonymous, SAA, is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other so they may overcome their sexual addiction and help others recover from sexual addiction or dependency."

¶ 6/28/2005 11:00:00 PM 0 comments

Do You See Change?

Congratulations L.W. on 90 days!

¶ 6/28/2005 07:28:00 AM 0 comments

Rain

Today I am thankful for rain. Not just any rain but, the rain that is falling outside my window right now. The yard needs it. The garden needs it. I need it. I need a rainy day to clear my head and cleanse my soul. We all need the break from the heat that the rain will bring.

My husband's step father, who has many, many years in The Program is dying of cancer. It was at least 90 degrees when we went to see him on Sunday. He was fully dressed and covered by a blanket. So he probably does not need the rain, at least not to cool off.

Today I thank God for the rain.

¶ 6/28/2005 05:09:00 AM 2 comments

Monday, June 27, 2005

Gratitude List

God
The way God takes care of me and those I love
Sam
Chuck
Anne
Monday Big Book meeting
Our street
The three parks in walking distance
Summer school
My interview on Tuesday
Beth
Diane
My fears Not being realized
Blogging
The blessed car life I have always seemed to lead
Earl
Fred McC who died last spring
Air conditioning
Sam's scooter
Summer
The shore
Nonna's birthday party
Family
The Promises
Carol
Ed
Weekend in Vermont
A son who gets excited about giving
Blog Explosion
My part-time job
The beach
Peace with myself
The History Center
Our Neighbors

¶ 6/27/2005 05:55:00 PM 1 comments

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH

I realize that I have been talking about things I hate a lot lately but, here it goes. I hate looking for a job! I feel like such a Fricking Moron. Two years ago we moved across the country and I have been looking for a job “in my field” every since then. Now, don’t misunderstand me I have worked. I have done part-time stuff, I have freelanced and I have worked in an allied profession but I have not had a career type fulltime job in a long time. It scares me it really does.

So I get all bent out of shape and then I remember God is in charge. I remember that I am powerless of Jr. H.R. wonks and my life has become unnamable. I remember that God has a plan and I just try to do the next right thing.

¶ 6/27/2005 11:48:00 AM 0 comments

Alcoholic Thoughts Blessed with Recovery

Take a look at Alcoholic Thoughts Blessed with Recovery another fairly new recovery Blog.

¶ 6/27/2005 05:12:00 AM 0 comments

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Middle Age Stinks

You know, middle age stinks sometimes! This is especially ture when in your heart you feel about 23. Yesterday, I was handing out the soberiety medallions at a meeting and suddenly I realized I had to hold my army out about 75 feet to read the numbers on the chips. Afterwords my friend said,"you know I had to get bifocals at 42." Thanks alot!

¶ 6/25/2005 06:41:00 AM 4 comments

Only A Matter of Time

Online Media Daily reports that Mircosoft is now recuirting paid Bloggers. Thats right paid Bloggers!

¶ 6/25/2005 06:35:00 AM 0 comments

Like the Camel

You will want to check out a new recovery Blog, Like the Camel.

¶ 6/25/2005 04:50:00 AM 1 comments

Friday, June 24, 2005

The Traditions

Yesterday, I showed up at the Thursday, "As Bill Sees It," meeting. The subject happened to be anonymity and it reminded me how long its been since I sat in a traditions meeting. In fact there are not any traditions meetings, that I know of, in the area I live.

How are newcomers going to learn the traditions if we don't talk about them in meetings? The answer of course is their sponsor but again many of the meeting I attend don't stress that either. So what am I doing about it? So far nothing, I will keep you posted.

¶ 6/24/2005 08:35:00 AM 1 comments

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Where Do The 12 Steps Come From

A big thank you to our friend Higher Powered who has republished Bill's 1953 Grapevine article on the subject. Here is my favorite excerpt:

Finally, one day, Dr. Silkworth took me back down to my right size. Said he, "Bill, why don't you quit talking so much about that bright light experience of yours, it sounds too crazy.

Yes Bill I have to admit itkind of does.

¶ 6/23/2005 03:49:00 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Kindergarten Graduation

¶ 6/22/2005 06:44:00 PM 0 comments

Gratitude List

My friend Ann
Chuck's flexibility and willingness
Job Interviews
Our Neighborhood
My son "graduating" from Kindergarten
Being taken care of when I did not know how to care for myself
Eating strawberries in the bathtub
Grace

¶ 6/22/2005 11:44:00 AM 0 comments

What a Difference a Day Makes

Thanks to everyone who commented on yesterday's post. I did talk about it at a meeting and I feel much better. As Higher Powered suggested, I did find several people who offered there own Experience Strength and Hope. I have prayed about the debt a million times but I never thought I should apply the 12 steps to it. The crux of the issue seems to be my ego and my pride. Whenever I would start down the 12 step road I would say to myself, "I am innocent,I deserve to go to graduate school as much as the next guy." This would quickly be followed by"I am as smart as the next guy, I should have the same chances"

The truth is a lot of the reason I went to graduate school was to prove I was smart to the world. I have a learning disability and as a kid hated having to go to special ed or as my peers called it "retard school." I hated being patronized by adults who gave me beauty school brochures when everyone else got college catalogs. O.K. I am exaggerating a little with that last statement, but you get the idea.

Today I am grateful that people were there to listen when I was ready to talk.

¶ 6/22/2005 04:58:00 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Life on Whidbey

Take a look at Life of Whidbey a 50 something woman's life in recovery.

¶ 6/21/2005 02:01:00 PM 3 comments

I Am Stressed Out

I have a lot of stress going on in my life and I am not talking about it. I am too busy listening to other people's problems and do not want to let theses same people know I have problems of my own. Especially not financial problems. I been out of full time work for almost two and a half years. The only work I have found in this time is as a part time substitute teacher. Now I am getting sued on a student loan I defaulted on. I am full of fear. No wonder I have not been able to write much lately.

¶ 6/21/2005 04:42:00 AM 5 comments

A.A. Success

The Oshkosh Northwestern(Oshkosh, WI) reports on the locals success of Alcoholics Anonymous. So much for anonymity.

¶ 6/21/2005 04:36:00 AM 0 comments

Monday, June 20, 2005

Sponsorship

I sometimes flirt with the trap of giving a sponsee advice on things other than the A.A. program. I really want to help and I am kind of a big mouth so naturally I gravitate towards being overly helpful. I know better but, sometimes I have to bite my tounge to keep from running off at the mouth. God help me.

¶ 6/20/2005 08:28:00 AM 1 comments

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Happy Father's Day Everyone

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there. Happy Father's Day also to the Mothers, Sponsers and Spritual Advisors who stood in the gap.

¶ 6/19/2005 06:26:00 AM 2 comments

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Powerless Blogging?

Fellow Bloggers, I recived this comment to my Thurdsday June 16, Powerless Blogging post. I would apperciate your help in answering his or her request.

"Please talk about this more. For me, this is serious. I lose time, relationships, work...because of blogging. Checking my email is like taking that first drink. I could really use a support group. I am serious. I've been trying to solve this alone, and it remains devastating. Please help."

¶ 6/18/2005 07:19:00 AM 4 comments

Friday, June 17, 2005

Blogging for Prayers

Please pray for my program friend Mieka who has cancer. Also pray for Diane who is having a difficult time with her mother and son.

¶ 6/17/2005 11:00:00 PM 1 comments

Man on the Bed

The third member of A.A.

¶ 6/17/2005 11:03:00 AM 0 comments

Rest in Peace

Our fellow recovery Blogger Scott from the Attitude of Gratitude lost a dear friend of his today. If you have a minute, why don't you stop by Attitude of Gratitude and leave Scott a note.

¶ 6/17/2005 10:48:00 AM 0 comments

Morning

Most mornings I check the news feeds after I pray but before I leave the house for work. Today in the news feeds I ran across this story, "Study Shows Alcohol Shrinks Brain." I must say I was not suprised.

¶ 6/17/2005 03:56:00 AM 2 comments

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Powerless Blogging

I am insane. As far as drinking and drugging are concerned I was restored to sanity a long time ago. I have been sober since April 5 1990. God took that desire away after I did my third step. I am amazed however; the ways insanity creeps back into my life if I am not diligent about my program.

So here is my admission, are you ready. I AM POWERLESS OVER BLOGGING AND MY LIFE HAS BECOME UNMANAGEABLE. Or maybe it's that I am powerless over Blog Explosion. Anyway, I have a couple of commercial sites and checking the hit counters on those two sites. I have been known to check their hit counters in the middle of the night and obsess about ways to drive traffic to them. I really just started to Blog because I did not really have an outlet for my writing. Now its like it a job. I am insane.

¶ 6/16/2005 05:17:00 AM 7 comments

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Step Six

We were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. Step Six

Yeah, just not today.

¶ 6/15/2005 02:49:00 PM 2 comments

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Gratitude List

The heat wave ending; our dead-end street; my garden; Necco Wafers;
trains and trolleys; inkjet printers and Sam.

¶ 6/14/2005 04:42:00 PM 1 comments

Buick City Complex

Buick City Complex is a great Blog about one man's life in recovery. You really should take the time to stop by.

¶ 6/14/2005 03:28:00 AM 2 comments

Joan Kennedy

Joan Kennedy, the former wife of U.S. Senator Edward M. Kennedy, and her three children were scheduled to appear in a Mass courtroom Monday, but son U.S. Representative Patrick Kennedy's spokeswoman, Robin Costello, told The Associated Press that the hearing had been canceled following a settlement.

The still sick and suffering.

¶ 6/14/2005 03:22:00 AM 2 comments

Monday, June 13, 2005

Depressed Drunk Kills Woman

Associated Press reports that a Rochester NY man told police he became depressed after an Alcoholics Anonymous and drank to the point of intoxication. Returning home his car jumped the curb and struck a woman who later died.

¶ 6/13/2005 02:16:00 PM 1 comments

and i quote Blog

Take a look at "and i quote Blog" it is fun and well worth a few minutes of your time.

¶ 6/13/2005 03:51:00 AM 0 comments

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Gratitude List

Sam

Chuck

Our House

The New England's Fall

Anne

Dianne

That after years of urban living I now live in walking distance to our town green

My years of urban living

A.A.

The new Sunday night meeting

Blogging

Air Conditioning

Writing

People who make me laugh

The Promises (even those I have not gotten yet)

Beth

Nancy

Finally growing up

The A.A. club five minutes from my house

Our tenants

Spellcheck (although I often forget to use it)

¶ 6/12/2005 02:36:00 PM 2 comments

God's Denial

I heard this at a meeting a few days ago...

God silence is never a denial but a delay. What God is saying is, "wait I have something better for you."

¶ 6/12/2005 10:05:00 AM 1 comments

Jamie Dawn

Jamie Dawn's Mindless Blather is always an enjoyable read.

¶ 6/12/2005 10:00:00 AM 2 comments

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Loneliness

Alcoholism was a lonely business even though we were surrounded by people who loved us. Twelve and Twelve page 116.

The details of our drinking careers vary. Some of us started drinking in middle school others not until their thirties. Some met their bottoms literally on the streets others met theirs behind the fortified doors of middle class suburbia. One of the things we all seem to share however, is a profound sense of loneliness even if we were the boisterous center of a noisy crowd. Try mentioning loneliness at the next 12 step meeting you go to and see the reaction you get.

¶ 6/11/2005 07:29:00 AM 3 comments

Silky

Dr. William Silkworth author of the Doctor Opinion page xxiii Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

¶ 6/11/2005 07:02:00 AM 0 comments

New Recovery Blog

I want to thank our friend at DryBlog for letting me know about an interesting new recovery Blog called Drunkablog.

¶ 6/11/2005 06:50:00 AM 0 comments

Friday, June 10, 2005

A.A. Gave Me My Life Back

Read A.A. Gave Me My Life Back in celebration of A.A.'s Birthday.

¶ 6/10/2005 10:50:00 AM 0 comments

Is Alcholics Anonymous for You?

Is A.A. for you? Take this 12 question quiz to find out.

¶ 6/10/2005 10:35:00 AM 0 comments

Happy Sobriety Birthday Dr. Bob

Dr and Mrs. Bob Smith-A.A.'s birthday is marked from his first day of sobriety.

¶ 6/10/2005 10:26:00 AM 0 comments

Thursday, June 09, 2005

A.A. 70th Birthday June 10

Alcholics Anonymous will Mark its 70th Birthday Friday June, 10.

¶ 6/09/2005 08:28:00 AM 4 comments

Car Salesmen

A car saleman program friend told me this joke

Q: How many car salesmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I got to work the number on this but, I think you'll be pleased.

¶ 6/09/2005 06:00:00 AM 0 comments

So You Think You Have Problems

Do you think that you have problems? If you do take a look at Dr. Prob a Blog about one man's journey and feel better.

¶ 6/09/2005 05:43:00 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I Need Your Help!

Recovery Bloggers, I Need Your Help. I am looking for a inexpensive source of wholesale recovery T-Shirts. Any ideas?

¶ 6/08/2005 05:02:00 AM 2 comments

I'll Never Drink Again

Happy Anniversary to Hannen author of I'll Never Drink Again Blog way to go on your 7 months. Everyone else should stop by his Blog, it is well worth a read.

¶ 6/08/2005 04:15:00 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Shameless Exploitation of My Child

Ruh roh or is it rutt roh?

¶ 6/07/2005 03:26:00 PM 0 comments

"Magic Pill" for Alcoholics

Newsweek reports that Topiramate, a seizure drug, is now being used to treat alcoholism.

¶ 6/07/2005 12:15:00 PM 4 comments

Kelly Osbourne in Drug Rehab

The Associated Press reports, that Kelly Osbourne, daughter of famed rocker Ozzie Osbourne, checked herself into a drug rehab last week. An Osbourne in rehab is as about as unusual as well a member of my family in rehab.

¶ 6/07/2005 04:26:00 AM 3 comments

Need Some Gratitude

Higher Powered will E-mail you his gratitude list every Monday through Friday. While you are there check out his awesome recovery Blog. It is one of the very best on the internet.

¶ 6/07/2005 03:35:00 AM 0 comments

Monday, June 06, 2005

Term Papers for Sale

Many of us were shortsighted enough to attend college before the advent of the internet. In other words, “damn I forgot to be born later.” If we were in college today however, we could buy a term paper on the Creation and Early History of A.A. for the low, low price of $80(and your integrity). So much for honesty or life on life’s terms.

O.K. I will get off my soap box now, thanks.

¶ 6/06/2005 07:06:00 AM 2 comments

Alcoholism

Health News reports that alcoholism can be linked to depression. I would say something "smart assed" but, I am really trying to work on that.

¶ 6/06/2005 12:46:00 AM 0 comments

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Need a Laugh?

Need some recovery humor?

If an alcoholic says something in the forest and there is no al-anon there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Click on the above link for more recovery humor.

¶ 6/05/2005 11:57:00 PM 0 comments

Saturday, June 04, 2005

The story of my life.

¶ 6/04/2005 02:24:00 PM 3 comments

Have You Prayed About It?

'Have you prayed about it,' that is what my friend Charlie always asks me. He asks me that when ever I am talking a lot about some concern that I have. Although I pray everyday, if I am confused about some issue the answer is usually NO, I have not prayed about that issue. So get lost Charlie (I usually say something a little different but you get the idea.)

If I have prayed about the issue he goes one step further, "are you listening to what God is telling you?" That a hard one for me. I grew up believing that doing something like listening to God was absolutely crazy. I mean we believed in God, we said our prayers, we went to church but God was not talking to anyone anymore. He may have talked to Moses but, not to us. Of course we were all crazy and many of us were drunk but, that besides the issue.

I know Charlie’s is right. Today I know God talks to me. He nudges me gently; patiently points the direction he wants me to go. I know if I am willing to let the noise in my head die down, I will hear him. Get lost anyway Charlie.

¶ 6/04/2005 05:16:00 AM 1 comments

Same Sex

"...in other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem."

¶ 6/04/2005 05:15:00 AM 1 comments

Friday, June 03, 2005

Genetics of Russian Alcoholism

Science Daily reports that a study done by the Yale School of Medicine (you go Connecticut) determined that the same gene accounts for part of the genetic risk of developing Alcoholism in both Russia and the U.S.

See OMD's June 3rd post for more on Russian Alcholism

¶ 6/03/2005 04:17:00 PM 0 comments

These Rooms

Have you read "These Rooms," a Blog well worth your time.

¶ 6/03/2005 05:26:00 AM 1 comments

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Maybe watching T-Ball is some of that "sober fun" they were always harping on in treatment.

¶ 6/02/2005 08:24:00 PM 0 comments

Humility

When I first came in "the rooms" I thought humility and humiliation were synonyms. When counselors and sponsors told me I had to get humility or drink, I thought they meant I had to be humiliated. I already felt humiliated. I didn't want humility or humilation but, I did not want to get drunk either. Finally, after lots of work and the Grace of my Higher Power, I got the difference.

Yesterday, I thought about the difference as I was down on my knees snaking out a toilet. I also thought about how little graduate school prepared me for life. But that thought was more of a matter of pride.

¶ 6/02/2005 02:12:00 PM 1 comments

Alcoholism Troubles Russians

According to the Russian News and Information Agency, in a recent poll Russians were most alarmed by alcoholism and high prices.

¶ 6/02/2005 05:02:00 AM 3 comments

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Google Ads

Yep,I just read my month end statment for my Google Ads. I made $6.98! My student loans will soon be a thing of the past.

¶ 6/01/2005 11:01:00 PM 0 comments

Shade's Blog

You really owe it to yourselves to take a look at Shade's Blog: The adventures of a sober woman in Alaska. Don't forget to tell her that I sent you.

¶ 6/01/2005 05:12:00 PM 2 comments

About Me