Outright Mental Defective: Renting Space in My Head

Monday, April 02, 2007

Renting Space in My Head

Somebody in The Program is bugging me. And, to make matters worse, I am letting her rent space in my head.

As some of you know my friend Candy and I started a Women’s Big Book meeting last November. Candy has been in Florida for the last few months. Since Candy left, it has mostly been me and a bunch of newcomers.

A few weeks ago, a woman I never meet before, showed up. I was happy to see her because she has something like twenty five years of sobriety. That was the last time I was happy to see her. According to her we are doing almost everything wrong. She lets us know about all the wrong we are doing by cross talking.

I know that it is Principles Before Personalities. I know I should pray for her, I know, I know, I know. But right now, I would rather just spend time disliking her.

¶ 4/02/2007 01:09:00 AM

Comments:

I only go to AA once a week now but I think its a great group I am in, I know I should do much much more AA work.
I am the other way I get convinced that certain people dont like me, one girl I am convinced absolutely hates me even though shes ten years sober and probably in reality "i dont rent much space in her head", I am like that its one of my defects being too self conscious

# posted by

Michael : 8:46 AM

How about a group conscience to reiterate the no cross talk thing?

# posted by

Scott W : 9:14 AM

This comment has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Trudging : 10:28 AM

Hey, thanks for visiting my blog. That is a great suggestion Scott had and I would take it a step further and offer a group conscious monthly and suggest she voice all her complaints there. Don't get discouraged. You are doing an important thing by putting this study together and you can't let yourself get taken out by one alcoholic.

# posted by

Nael C. Robes : 11:51 AM

Another FGO (f***ing growth opportunity)...there are so many in AA. :-) Remember, we are not saints...

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:10 PM

I suggest talking to her after the meeting and explaining that cross talk isn't cool. I agree with Jeremy that you are chairing so you need to set some boundaries. I like your thoughts on principles above personalities. In Al-Anon, part of the meeting opening states that "although you may not like all of us you will come to love us in that special way that we love you". I've always wondered how you can not like someone but love them instead??

# posted by

Syd : 3:42 PM

I agree with the group conscience meeting! And stop letting her rent. Or feel it and release it! Let go and Let God!

# posted by

~MsManna~ : 8:59 PM

Even though I am a relative short-timer in AA, it's been my experience that people like this sort of filter themselves out. She is there now to teach some lessons to the rest of you then she will disappear.

# posted by

dAAve : 9:00 PM

Group Conscience! I went to my first in about 10 years last week. It was cool.

# posted by

Mary Christine : 10:20 PM

It is great that we can offer solutions to those things that can bug us madly.

Thank you for your support right now.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:32 PM

damn trudge you have some boys hanging around. I will lease some space I am running out of room.

# posted by

lash505 : 1:02 AM

well you could pray for her to find a meeting that she does not feel the need to "fix".

# posted by

Pammie : 6:24 AM

I'll say a prayer for ya both... In the mean time, maybe you should fix your meeting ;-) (just kidding, lol)

We had a gal show up at my old home group, several years sober, came along like a whirlwind makin' changes, showing us how to do thins "right"etc. She blew back out of our lives a few years later, took a man with her, they got married etc. He turned back up a few more yrs later, she had died of a heroine overdose after being sober nearly 20 yrs.

I dunno why I shared that, it just came to mind...

# posted by

Scott M. Frey : 7:11 AM

Is good luck appropriate to say?

# posted by

butterflygirl : 9:34 PM

Hi MD,

My suggestion would be to talk to her. Maybe she doesn't realize how disruptive her behavior really is.....

# posted by

Sober @ Sundown : 12:03 AM

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