Happy Birthday Vince My step father in law turns 85 today. He was diagnosed with stage four cancer about three years ago. Almost two years ago he was given “eighteen months at the outside,” to live. He was enjoying a fairly good quality of life until about six months ago when things really started to go down hill. Three weeks ago his doctor finally referred him to hospice care. On Sunday my husband learned that Vince had stopped eating and sleeps most of the time.

Vince has been a statistical anomaly most of his life. Raised by two deaf parents in the depression era Bronx the family managed to survive on his father’s meager earnings. Although he had normal hearing, doctors doubted that he would ever be able to talk normally because he was not exposed to human speech until he was five. Vince’s father was by all accounts a brutal alcoholic who was jealous of his son ability to hear and speak. In order to keep him from his father’s wrath his mother sent him to Jesuit High School. Rather than being a safe haven however, he was routinely beaten by the Jesuits.

Vince became alcoholic at a young age. Over the years he had many, many trips to “dry out.” His wife was also an alcoholic and they would often go to these drying out places together. On their last trip to dry out she died and he got sober. That was over 35 years ago.

Soon after he sobered up he was forced to retire from the post office or risk losing his pension He took the early retirement and threw himself into Alcoholics Anonymous. About a year later he met my mother in law at a meeting. “Love on the A.A. campus,” followed and he soon found himself married to a woman 17 years his junior with three young boys. As they say, the rest is history.  ¶ 12/07/2005 04:46:00 AM