Thursday, October 13, 2005
Alcoholic Solution
A few days ago a woman who I have never seen before, showed up at my A.A. meeting. She shared that she had been in and out of rooms for 14 years and she can not understand why she keeps drinking. “I don’t know what is wrong with me,” she said. “Why do I keep drinking when it causes so much trouble,” she continued.
After the meeting I approached her. I prayed before I approach her because, I did not want to just be a smart ass about the whole thing. “I know what is wrong with you,” I said. “You do,” she said, taken a little aback. “Yeah you’re an alcoholic just like me, and there is a solution,” I said. She laughed and then patted me on the shoulder in the same way you pat a small child on the head. “Oh,” she said you are funny. The sad part is I was not being funny at all. ¶ 10/13/2005 04:38:00 AM
After the meeting I approached her. I prayed before I approach her because, I did not want to just be a smart ass about the whole thing. “I know what is wrong with you,” I said. “You do,” she said, taken a little aback. “Yeah you’re an alcoholic just like me, and there is a solution,” I said. She laughed and then patted me on the shoulder in the same way you pat a small child on the head. “Oh,” she said you are funny. The sad part is I was not being funny at all. ¶ 10/13/2005 04:38:00 AM
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She "knows" it doesn't work. At least, it doesn't work for her type. She's not an easy case like the rest of you, and none of you really understand what she's going through. Her problem isn't like anyone else's.
You know, and I know, that that's a load of crap. But one of the reasons why the program does work is that it's one drunk giving another one hope. We've all heard the way out from the "normies" for as long as we've had problems (and, if we were paying attention, someone probably mentioned the basics of living in kindergarten), but most of us don't really see that there IS a way out until we've heard it from someone who's been where we are. She hasn't heard that yet. Whether her problem is worse than everyone else's (a real hard case) or maybe not quite so bad (not a hard-core alky like THAT lot), she hasn't allowed herself to identify with people who can tell her her own story.
Has anyone done the after-meeting thing with her? Done a real twelfth? Let her talk herself to tears?
You know, and I know, that that's a load of crap. But one of the reasons why the program does work is that it's one drunk giving another one hope. We've all heard the way out from the "normies" for as long as we've had problems (and, if we were paying attention, someone probably mentioned the basics of living in kindergarten), but most of us don't really see that there IS a way out until we've heard it from someone who's been where we are. She hasn't heard that yet. Whether her problem is worse than everyone else's (a real hard case) or maybe not quite so bad (not a hard-core alky like THAT lot), she hasn't allowed herself to identify with people who can tell her her own story.
Has anyone done the after-meeting thing with her? Done a real twelfth? Let her talk herself to tears?
# posted by 
: 4:18 PM
: 4:18 PM
Sorry about the complete anonymity (again), but my Blogger name is my genuine, I-was-born-with-it name. Not that I'm afraid of anyone finding it out. I gave up personal anonymity at that level a long time ago. Just about everybody that knows me at all know I'm a drunk.
But these "rooms" aren't private, and there are folks in the world who think I'm an authority on some subjects because of public postings in fora and blogs. Makes me realise that we are talking about the "level of press, radio, films, and television", even if blogs don't explicitly appear in the list.
So I'll continue to tell people I'm a drunk, but when it comes to the program, proclaiming high-falutin' opinions, and giving potentially dangerous advice, I'm nobody and anybody. That way people can judge what I say on whether or not it rings true to them here and now, rather than on the basis of anything sensible I might have said in the past. I've been around a good, long time, but it may well be out of stubbornness and self-delusion, eh?
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But these "rooms" aren't private, and there are folks in the world who think I'm an authority on some subjects because of public postings in fora and blogs. Makes me realise that we are talking about the "level of press, radio, films, and television", even if blogs don't explicitly appear in the list.
So I'll continue to tell people I'm a drunk, but when it comes to the program, proclaiming high-falutin' opinions, and giving potentially dangerous advice, I'm nobody and anybody. That way people can judge what I say on whether or not it rings true to them here and now, rather than on the basis of anything sensible I might have said in the past. I've been around a good, long time, but it may well be out of stubbornness and self-delusion, eh?
# posted by : 7:42 PM
: 7:42 PM<< Home
