Christmas Letter 2004 Merry Seasons Greetings and Happy New Year from the Smiths!

Dear Friend and/or Family Member,

At this special time of year... which used to be called Christmas until it was renamed “Season” then “Holidays” and now back to Christmas our thoughts turn to friends and family.

We three had a thought. “Why not send Christmas cards this year?” Our immediate second thought was “Is this going to involve effort?” Our third thought, “Can we get out of this?” Our fourth and final thought was as long as we had to put in effort “Let’s make one of those well received Christmas letters, it will let everybody knows how bright, clever, successful as well as hip, slick and/or cool we are.

Not to show off, but first, let us tell you about our son Sam, who is the smartest boy in all of Connecticut? We won’t say the whole country, because although he probably is, saying it might come across as arrogant. In his spare time he slips into his alter-ego Kindergarten Spy Sam (a recent upgrade from Preschool Spy Sam) and sets about saving the world from a diverse collection of evil-doers. He does all this and still makes his 8:30 bedtime.

Our cat Sarah, who we like to call Kitty, has spent another year biting the hand that feeds her. Her hobbies include sleeping and showing distain for our existence. We like Kitty so much that last week we took in another cat from an animal rescue organization. So far that cat (who we plan to call Blackie, Spooky or Ink) has not come out from under the bookcase in the spare bedroom. But, we trudge ahead in our challenge to get a cat to like us.

Chuck is doing great; he’s still working at his high paying job at the Nameless Nonprofit and is practically running the place as usual because he is more intelligent and capable than the usual cast of knuckleheads. He fully expects that he will soon single-handedly secure funding for all needed research while still leaving the office in time to beat the rush-hour traffic.

This year, Trudge has mostly been on a sabbatical, which is the better way of saying unemployed. When she is not on sabbatical, she is forcefully thinking about working on her book that will, in the unlikely chance that it actually gets written, be a huge hit. The producers of seven major talk shows have called awaiting its publication.

In March we bought our new home in Anytown, Connecticut. Anytown was settled in 16?? by a group of disgruntled puritans. In the years that followed this same unhappy group set about executing more suspected “witches” and “warlocks” than were executed in all of Salem. Take that Massachusetts!

Speaking of burning witches, we have to tell you about the pork loin. Not just any pork loin you understand but the one that Chuck smoked for our housewarming party in early July. Like Sam it was the best smoked pork lion in all of Connecticut if not the country. You know given Trudge upbringing she does have a cultural understanding of meatpacking. We purchased it at Sam’s club a few days earlier. People raved, e-mails were sent, grown children and long lost friends were called just to be told about our pork loin. You just cannot say enough about a good pork loin.

Best wishes to you and yours,  ¶ 9/27/2005 08:46:00 AM