Joan's Son I need to write about something that really disturbed me in an A.A. meeting on Friday. To understand the incident however, you are going to need some background. Do you remember a few weeks ago when I talked about the bloodless coupe at the Monday morning Big Book meeting. I talked about a woman named Joan who stormed out never to return because she was “too old to wait for everyone else to talk.” Well evidently Joan stormed back into the morning meetings while I was on vacation.

When it was Joan’s to share at the Friday morning meeting, Joan talked about her son. Joan often talks about her son. He is her only child. She was married to a man much, much older than her. He died when this boy was nine years old. This boy is now in his late 20’s and finishing up his PhD in psychology. Most mothers would be happy with a son getting his doctorate. Joan however, is never happy with what this poor kid has done or is doing. I know this because talks about him and everything that is “wrong” with him in great length in meeting.

So Friday morning the meeting was on the second step. It is Joan’s turn to share and she launches in on her son. I thought it was just going to be the usual linty of complaints but she then said that she something I have never heard at an A.A. meeting. Joan said that she was praying for her son to die. She actually told a room full of about 20 sober alcoholics that she prays for this gifted, healthy young man to die. It turned my stomach. I wanted to gather up my son, who was coloring in the T.V. room and flee. Her stated reason for praying for his death is that he suffers from depression and is on medication. “If he is going to live his life like that,” she told us “he might as well be dead.”

I would like to tell you that I talked to her after the meeting and intervened somehow but, I did not. I did not know what to say or who to say it to.  ¶ 8/28/2005 03:33:00 AM