Why Me My son had a really close call last night. He chased a ball into the street without watching for cars and he almost got hit by a car. He is six and usually very good about watching for cars. We live on a dead end street with hardly any traffic. So I don’t think anything about turning my back or even ducking back inside for a few minutes when he is playing outside. My downstairs neighbor saw the whole thing but I did not.

At first I was busy being thankful that he was fine and busy being reinforcing the message not to run into the street. I was also busy feeling guilty that I did not have my eyes on him at that moment. Then several hours later, after he was safely tucked in bed I started to get scared. Scared about what could have happened. Then I realized that God must have had a hand in all of that.

I thought of all the times that I could have died. In childhood I had a number of close calls with cars usually while riding my bike. I played with fire literally. I burned a hole in my parents’ rug while toasting marshmallows in the living room. Then there was my addiction. The reckless things I did while drunk or stoned. God pulled my ass out of the fire more times than I can even remember. I don’t question why Sam was saved because it is too scary but I have to question why I was. I mean, why me? Why did I get the gift of the A.A. program when others around me died? I don’t know why but I know my life today is a gift from God.  ¶ 7/15/2005 04:21:00 AM