The A.A. Police I just came back from a meeting. It’s a meeting that I used to go to all the time until my schedule changed. The meeting has really changed. That was all decided in a group conscious that I did not attend few months ago. I know that is the way things are and should be decided in A.A. or any other 12 step group for that matter. Today I really hated that group conscious is the way that we decide things. At that meeting this morning I wanted to be the person who decides. I wanted to be the "A.A. Police".

While I sat in that meeting I resented the changes. I am taking a mental health day today and I wanted something familiar. The meeting did not feel familiar. The format changes were actually pretty minor but, they just sort of threw me. The meeting was on the second step and nobody seemed to be talking about or even attempting to talk about the second step. And I a self appointed member of the A.A. police grew more judgmental with each person who shared. I said to myself, "I don't want to hear about ex-wife, your abortion or how the sister who took you in a few months ago now does not understand you.

I knew I was being a self righteous pain in the ass. In the end however, all I could do was come home and write about it and then get on my knees and give it up to God. An A.A. friend of mine used to always say that sometimes you got let people be wrong. Today I more interested in being serene than right.  ¶ 5/07/2005 05:57:00 AM