No Gratitude Many years ago now a counselor at a half-way house told me that I had no gratitude. She was right I would later discover but, at the time I had no idea what the word really meant. She told me to look it up in the dictionary but, the definition made no sense to me. Armed with this definition I did not understand, I was supposed to look for people in the house who had gratitude. All I found were clueless idiots who were oblivious to the gravity of their situation. In my arrogance I wondered why I, who had “never caught a break,” should be grateful. Without even asking she told me why, in spite of what I thought I had “caught a break” by getting sober and if I wanted to stay that way I would need to become grateful. I said incredulously, “You don’t want me just to fake it do you?” She told me that she did not care if I had to fake it. She also told me that I needed to write down a gratitude list of at least 25 things every morning. I baulked at the assignment but, not wanting to get kicked out of the house, I did it anyway. There is a lot to be said for doing things anyway. By doing it anyway slowly and at times painfully, I began to become grateful. Today I see where my sobriety has brought me and at times I get glimpse into the lives of those who did not stay sober. Today I do not have to fake it, I am grateful.  ¶ 4/03/2005 06:43:00 AM