Are We Ready We were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. Step Six

And when Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time he asked him, “Do you want to get well.” John 5:6

Am I ready, do I want to get well? No I am not always ready. At least I am not always entirely ready. I am often secretly fond of my defects of character. Even if I am not fond these defects I am at times very fearful to have them removed. These defects serve in some way or I would not be hanging on to them. After all where would I be I tell myself without my ambition, in my case another word for greed or my perceptiveness in my case another word for being judgmental? My addiction was one thing, it was painful and it was killing me but what about my envy.

If I am honest I will tell you that my character defects separate me from my creator as much if not more than my drinking ever did. I will also tell you that on those days that I actually sincerely pray to be relieved of these named defects. I know a joy and a sense of security that nurturing my defects will never bring me. Am I entirely ready? All I can tell you is just for today I pray that I am.  ¶ 3/13/2005 03:10:00 AM