"When my wife said to me do you think could you try this weekend not to have a drink? I said don't be so stupid. I could stop any time I like. That was a real belief I had... Yeah, I went to a treatment center, and I went twice. I went once and came out for a while, stayed sober for about a year and a half and then kind of just thought well, you know... Maybe I have licked it... maybe I'm just sort of special and different, you know? And I didn't go back to drinking. I went back to drugs first, and I found that I didn't like the drugs without the drink. So I thought well, that was clever... I went into treatment just over 10 years ago now, the last time... I've been sober ever since."- Eric Clapton, 'Larry King Live' 1998 interview quote
¶ 5/31/2005 11:03:00 PM0 commentslinks to this post
Wall Street in New York City during the Stock Market Crash of 1929 as metioned in Bill's Story. Big Book page 4. So why should I care ? What does that have to do with me your "garden variety drunk," in 2005. Good question! Read the story and you will see.
200 Year Old Whiskey Found
The Associated Press reports on a 200 year old bottle of whiskey found in West Virginia. There is a joke in here somewhere but, I am up before 6:00 a.m. and I just cannot think of one.
Is Alcholics Anonymous a CultIs Alcoholics Anonymous a Cult? Before I started to do research (if you can web surfing research) for this Blog I had no idea that there was a group of people intent on exposing one of the most effective movements in America’s (and the world’s) history as a Cult. Oh I had heard the occasion person “in the rooms” talk about how their mother, sister, husband or friend told them that they were an A.A. or Treatment Victim and they were part of a Cult. I was unaware however, that there is a small number of websites that lambaste A.A. as a dangerous Cult. One of these sites even accuses Bill W. as being demon possessed.
In the end I suppose whether A.A. is a cult or not all depends on how you define cult. In the interest of truth I have linked you to some sites and you can be the judge. Call your sponsor however, before you before you start selling stuff at the airport.
¶ 5/21/2005 06:26:00 AM9 commentslinks to this post
Bill W. A Strange Salvation
"Bill W. A Strange Salvation," by Paul Hourihan is a novel looesly based on the real life of A.A. cofounder Bill Wilson. I have not read it but the tittle intrigues me. Is is after all a Strange Salvation that we find in the rooms of A.A. or other 12 step groups.
Alcoholism and Star Wars
The Mirrior reported that when ask to pay homage to Star Wars Creator George Lucas at an awards dinner Carrie Fischer said, “Thank you for ruining my life." Fisher is the now 47-year-old actress who played Princess Leia in the original Star Wars movie. In recent years, Fischer who is also the daughter of Hollywood icons Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fischer, “star” has fallen as she succumbed to alcoholism and drug addiction. She however, blamed "the awful hairdo and the bad dialogue" for tarnishing her career.
¶ 5/18/2005 07:49:00 AM2 commentslinks to this post
The best advice I ever got in the program came about 2 weeks after coming back from a relapse. I had a ton a resentments that were tearing me apart. I had heard prior to my relapse that resentments are the number one thing to send out back out the door.
I had finally hit bottom and was full of resentments, I didn't know what to do, but I knew that I didn't want to drink again. One night during break at a meeting, I walked up to someone I knew had a lot of sobriety, someone I was comfortable around because I had met them before my relapse. I told them of my resentments and how I didn't know what to do.
They told me to go home, write all of resentments down on paper, who I was mad at and why and then next to it try and write down what part I had played in it. I should do that for every single one. They also told me to read pg 552 in the Big Book when I was done and that between those two things, I should begin to ease my resentments.
What is the best advice you ever got in "The Program" (A.A, N.A., CA and other 12 step programs)? The first ten readers to E-mail me (my E-mail is listed under my profile) with the best advice they ever got in the rooms will win a free recovery gift. I plan to publish the best answers on my Blog (first names only of course). Along with the advice, please send me your name and mailing address. Also tell me if it is ok to use your first name when I publish it.
7th Step Prayer
My Creator, I am now willing that you should all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove ever single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me the strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen The Big Book page 76
¶ 5/13/2005 12:56:00 PM1 commentslinks to this post
Thursday, May 12, 2005
"Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found that we could not put money first. For us material well-being always followed spirtual progess;it never preceded." Big Book, page 127
¶ 5/12/2005 06:16:00 AM7 commentslinks to this post
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
God Grant Us T-Ball
Last night I went with my son(see May, 9, cute isn't he)to his T-ball game. Now this is T-ball, the players are four, five and six. Not grown men (and one woman) not even High School boys they are four, five and six years old. So the idea is to have fun; get a little exercise; learn some basics but, most of all have fun, right? Not as far as some of the parents are concerned.
I learned in the rooms many years ago that you can only give away what you have. I have a lot of things to pass on to my son but when it comes to sports, especially baseball; I am nothing short of illiterate. I am much more interested in the human drama that the technicalities anyway. I watched the Ken Burns series on baseball, I remember that TA Cobb was a bastard and Josh Gibson ended up in an asylum but, that is it. How to hold the bat, where the shortstop stands or even what is the shortstop? I have no idea.
So I got into this conversation with this mother of one of the other boys. She claimed that her boy has since toddlerhood insisted on having athletics as the focal point of his life. Acording to her, his first word was ball, and he spent is preschool years prefecting his pitching arm. My boy's first word was mine and he spent his preschool years pretending to be Junterman a superhero he created whoses special power is throwing flames from is eyes. The mother went on to say this year Buford "insisted" that he have all the proper major league endorsed baseball equipment which she bought him. This year my boy "insisted" that we buy him a moterized kindergarten-sized motercycle but, we declined.
On one hand I thought that she was ridiculous but, on the other hand feeling sort of bad that I did not have more to give away to him when it comes to sports. Just then, I looked out on the field and what did I see. Buford and my boy are both sitting down eating the grass while they are supposed "on" second and third base respectively. You have to love kids for keeping it honest.
Speaking of self-righteousness (see May 7, 2005 post)…I have a good friend in "The Program" who like me likes to lapse into periods of unrepentant self-righteousness or as we like to call it having and "big o" slice of "self-righteous pie." Of course it drives us to our knees or at least on the phone with our sponsors every time.
¶ 5/08/2005 06:04:00 AM1 commentslinks to this post
Saturday, May 07, 2005
The A.A. Police
I just came back from a meeting. Its a meeting that I used to go to all the time until my schedule changed. The meeting has really changed. That was all decided in a group conscious that I did not attend few months ago. I know that is the way things are and should be decided in A.A. or any other 12 step group for that matter. Today I really hated that group conscious is the way that we decide things. At that meeting this morning I wanted to be the person who decides. I wanted to be the "A.A. Police".
While I sat in that meeting I resented the changes. I am taking a mental health day today and I wanted something familiar. The meeting did not feel familiar. The format changes were actually pretty minor but, they just sort of threw me. The meeting was on the second step and nobody seemed to be talking about or even attempting to talk about the second step. And I a self appointed member of the A.A. police grew more judgmental with each person who shared. I said to myself, "I don't want to hear about ex-wife, your abortion or how the sister who took you in a few months ago now does not understand you.
I knew I was being a self righteous pain in the ass. In the end however, all I could do was come home and write about it and then get on my knees and give it up to God. An A.A. friend of mine used to always say that sometimes you got let people be wrong. Today I more interested in being serene than right.
¶ 5/07/2005 05:57:00 AM4 commentslinks to this post
The Pittsburg Post-Gazette recently reported that Jockey Jerry Bailey's new book takes the reader thorough the details a previous life of alcoholism. It's titled "Against the Odds: Riding for My Life."